The Amazing Adventure of Astonaige Medoz
by YFIQ
Summary: Takes place after "Char's Counterattack". Ever wonder what Astonaige have been up to ever since that infamous conflict?
1. According to this site, he doesn't exist

The war was over and yet, all Astonaige can do is wander lifelessly in space. The war have taken large number of lives in both sides as even the hero of "The One Year War" named Amuro Ray didn't make it out alive, in fact his body was never found!

To make it worse, his girlfriend, Kayra Su was killed in the battle and had a brief time to mourn before his colleague, Chan returns with a damaged mobile suit. As the battle went on, Chan decides to assist Amuro and fearing the worst, Astonaige tries to stop her to no avail. Shortly after Chan took off with a damaged mobile suit, a stray energy beam hits the hanger, killing him instantly.

It's a good thing his body wasn't completely incinerated.

Unfortunately, Chan was later fragged by Hathaway in a fit of a psychotic spazz attack.

As the former mechanic of _Londo Bell _floats by the passing ships, his body begins to freeze to the point that it wouldn't take much of an impact to knock parts of it off, bit by bit depending on the trajectory of the projectile. The frozen lifeless corpse of Astonaige Medoz continues to float for years and years as it remains undiscovered by any intelligent life in space outside the colonies. Once decades have gone by, Astonaige made his way past Mars, the last planet of the inner part of the Solar System, heading toward the treacherous path that would lead to the asteroid belt where a bunch of floating space rocks resides, one of which is famous for its valuable contribution in the war efforts by helping to kill off AEUG's idiotically incompentent pilot by the name of Katz Kobayashi during the climax of "The Gryps Conflict", doing AEUG a huge favor as they needed to defeat a group of bloody thirsty monsters called the titans. Ultimately, AEUG won the war but the conflict left the hero of the war, Kamille Bidan with a brain damage that resulted in him having an intelligence of a five year old girl for much of the following conflict with the _Neo-Zeon_ led by Haman Karn.

As luck would have it, Haman Karn would develop pedophilia like her mentor, Char Aznable as she suddenly became fixated with Kamille's reluctant successor, Judau Asta who was fourteen years old and he simply wanted to steal the Gundam so he can sell it at the junkyard for scraps. The war would take a weird turn as it involves an army of cloned lolis, one of whom falls in love with Judau and a harem was sort of formed for a brief moment. All this without the mention of the encounter with a colony of cult worshippers guarded by the legendary "Aztec Space Ninjas" who are known for their amazing fighting abilities. In the end, Haman Karn was overcome by her own raging pedophilia as she loses the duel against Asta and commits suicide soon afterward.

Astonaige have been through it all and survived!

But in the end, he didn't make it out of the last conflict alive and was left drifting in the endless void of space.

Upon entering the asteroid belt, Astonaige would make a stop at the largest one in the field where the gravity pulls the body onto the surface and stays here for a period of time. But then, another giant asteroid collides and a massive explosion occurs, resulting in pieces of space rocks flying all over the place and more importantly, the former mechanic was hurled to an unknown direction.

Astonaige wasn't alone in his journey as he was joined by the bodies of the victims of "The 30 Bunch Incident". The reason is that due to the hit their image have taken, _The Earth Federation_ attempts to cover up the incident despite no longer being a secret by dumping the bodies into space without notifying the relatives. In time, some of the bodies ended up in the asteroid belt where they would float alongside the giant space rocks and bits of what was left of Katz Kobayashi.

Miraculously, Astonaige was able to leave the asteroid belt many years later with minimal damage as he would float toward the outer part of the solar system. Despite being covered with space dust as a result of the journey through the asteroid belt, everything was relatively fine when suddenly, a stray meteor came and struck Astonaige in the head, decapitating him. The impact of the hit also sends the body spinning out of control in a random direction where it was in danger of being sucked into Jupiter, only to hit a passing ship that was heading toward the colony being built there.

As it turns out, the ship was hijacked, causing it to veer from its original route to the colony near Jupiter. Later the ship would encounter a group of space pirates known as _Crossbone Vanguard_, the group participating in the uprising against the Empire of Jupiter of whom have been planning a war against Earth. Once the ship stopped, Astonaige floats off into the void where he would end spend centuries traveling pass the rest of the outer planets of the solar system. By the time the body floats past Pluto, the former mechanic was pelted with small chunks of ice, knocking off some frozen bits.

Later, a comet blew right by, sending Astonaige to another direction where his body once again spun into a middle of nowhere, so it's still in the same situation as before. As centuries have gone by, Astonaige continues to float in the endless void of space well outside of the solar system where the body remains undiscovered for a significient period of time, not even a single contact with a stray space rocks as there's none in sight. The journey goes on and on as the body continues to drift in the endless void of space as no contact with anything have been made.

Another century would go by and it's still the same situation as before once again, the body drifting in the endless void of space without a contact with anything. This would go on for few more decades until the body was hit by an incoming spaceship.

"Did we just hit something?"

"Let's make a stop and have a look."


	2. The Adventure Continues!

**Beecha: What is that hamburger doing in a war museum? Man, I'm hungry...*breaks glass***

_**several minutes later...**_

**Security guard: Hey, what are you doing?**

**Beecha: I ate that hamburger, what are you gonna do about it? *sticks his tongue***

**Security guard: YOU FUCKING IDIOT, THAT WASN'T A HAMBURGER!**

**Beecha: If that wasn't a hamburger, then what is that pile of meat doing in a war museum? It taste kinda funny...**

**Security guard: THAT WAS THE REMAINS OF A ZEON PILOT WHO GOT FRIED BY A BEAM SABER AT THE BATTLE IN SIDE 6 OVER A DECADE AGO YOU FUCKING HALF-WIT!  
**

**Beecha: W-wait...what?**

**Author: Now you get the reason for one of the pairings, onward to the story...**

* * *

As the spaceship makes a stop at the local ship stop, Astonaige floated off the bumper and disappears into the void just before the pilots could check and see what they just hit. The pilot of the spaceship from a far distant planet of a far distant solar system will never realize what just happen as the mystery would continue, making them wonder what they have bumped into just a while back.

While floating away in the middle of space, the damage Astonaige have taken caused his right arm to be broken off of his frozen corpse as it heads toward the endless void once again. This would go on for years and years as the body floats by several space wreckages, including the remains of the _Voyager _probes that were send out into space back in the distant past before being long forgotten. For a time being, all what was left to do is to journey past the wreckage of the probes, spacecrafts, corpses floating out of the spacecrafts and satellites that have been floating around for centuries.

After spending the next decades traveling out of the wreckages, Astonaige would spend another countless years in the endless void without a contact with anything at all, not even a speck of space dust.

It sure was lonely in space, especially with no one else around...not even a thing.

But then, the unthinkable occurs...the nearest star went supernova and the resulting force from the distance send the body flying somewhat further than before where it could make its way into the next solar system another centuries later. By the time he got there, an unstable planet blew up, send several chunks of rocks in every direction, some of which ends up pelting Astonaige, knocking off his left leg like a chunk of frozen meat. Soon, the body was on a dangerous collision course with an oncoming comet when another space rock came and knocked Astonaige away from its path.

It was a magnificent sight, the immense explosion can be seen from a long distance, hundreds of light years away and yet, the poor mechanic can't never enjoy the view due to being too dead to watch it.

Once being hit by another wave from the supernova, Astonaige was send spinning like a beam saber Kamille-piloted Zeta Gundam threw. With another frozen chunk broken off of Astonaige's body, he was surrounded by bits and pieces that used to be part of him. Afterward, it went back to the way it was a moment before, floating in the endless void of space where the body would make a journey to the end of the universe where maybe, something can be found at the other end of the side, like a portal to the alternate universe or something. Then again, even if there is a portal to the alternate universe, does it even matter? Considering the shape Astonaige have been in for millenia, he's too dead to even experience such a thing.

For another countless years, it's the same thing as always, floating in the dark and endless void of space where nothing can be seen or touched. With the nearest object being millions of miles away, it would take another countless years before a contact will be made with the body. By the time that countless years have came and went, a small meteor appeared out of nowhere and struck Astonaige in his other leg, knocking it right off while sending the body spinning once again. Seconds later, another meteor came and struck Astonaige, knocking away the last limb from his body, this time stabilizing the body by stopping the spinning but also sends the arm flinging where it hits a windshield of a passing spaceship.

"What the hell?!" the pilot yelled.

However, it was for a split second that the arm was visible, after that it was never seen again, rendering the incident a complete mystery...that and the fact that they decided it was a space pebble. The body on the other hand would linger on for another millenia as it would continue to float in the endless void of space after being knocked right out of the edge of the solar system it had entered for a brief moment. As time went by, nothing significant occurs as Astonaige continues to bravely travel through the endless void of space.

After another millenia went by, Astonaige started to float quicker...it's as if something's pulling him towards it.

As decades went by, the body of a former mechanic started to move faster than ever, what's going on?

Soon, the frozen corpse of Astonaige began to pull apart, chunk by chunk as it heads toward the dark and gigantic mass in space where not even light can escape. Just before the body reaches the dark mass, it was reduced to dust as they were sucked in...

Once Astonaige's entry into the mysterious mass of gravity in the middle of space was complete, he was send through the portal where the hall was decorated with with silvery light and then from a great distance, a mustached Gundam was being built at the lunar colony. For an unknown reason, the mustached mecha's eyes turns bright red as it became awoke and took off on its on to the surprise of the descendants of the "Moon Moon" colony who have long since moved to the moon where they became the "Moonrace".

The moonrace took cover inside the bunker of the moon as the odd looking Gundam began its assault on the Earth.

* * *

**Wong Lee: *walks into his office* What the fuck is this? *picks up a photo of Garma placed on his desk***

**Wong Lee: *runs out of the office* Very funny you guys, tell me who the fuck put this on my desk so I can discipline that bastard!**

**Everyone: LOL!**

**Wong Lee: You bastard, that joke doesn't make sense!**

**Some dude A: It is, ever since you got struck in the manhood by a fourteen year old kid, none of us could take you seriously!**

**Some dude B: LOL, what grown man gets beaten up by a fourteen year old kid, that was pathetic!**

**Some dude A: You should change your last name, you don't deserve to share it with Bruce Lee.**

**Wong Lee: *throws a picture* AGRGHHJDJJFJJDKKJKSKSKKKLDKLLKDLLD!**

**Narrator: After assaulting his colleagues, Wong Lee was sentenced to a month at the anger management seminar.**

**Author: To those wondering about the second pairing, this should answer the question. Stay tuned to the ultimate climax of the adventure of a dead mechanic who floated for...I don't know.**


	3. The Colorless Century

**Narrator: One day at the sewer in hell, Bask Om wakes up...**

**Bask Om: *finds himself buried in pile of shit all the way to his chin* What the hell?**

**Narrator: As Bask Om would realize, ordering Bright Noa to be beaten for practically no reason would have its consequences.**

**Bask Om: *looks around and see Osama bin Laden, Adolf Hitler, Ahmad Shah, Renato William Jones, ****Dr. Backardjehiv and others in the same predicament as himself* What is going on here?  
**

**Voice: MUWHAHAHAHAHA! I'm glad that you have committed a great sin of having Bright Noa beaten, for that I have few extra souls in my territory. I hope this place suits your taste as you will be here for eternity! **

**Bask Om: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

* * *

"Hey, I saw something!"

"Was is it Brian? Oh let me guess, is it a bird? A plane? I get that you love Superman but this is..."

"No, I'm serious this time, just take a look at the blip on the radar screen!" Brian yelled.

His partner went to look out the window and saw a mustached mecha flying toward them, firing ammunitions in their direction.

"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

A bunch of mass produced Gundams were send to stop the onslaught by the mysterious mecha, only to do little to nothing against the monstrous being. As more Gundams were deployed, some of the pilots started to have doubts regarding their chance to take down the mysterious mecha.

"What are we going to do, nothing we fired did anything to that thing!"

"Shut up, we have to try dammit!"

Try as they might but in the end, they're just mere flies compared to the mustached Gundam.

Soon, the Gundam stopped its assault and stood in front of the oncoming swarm.

"It stopped..."

"Don't let your guard down, it could be up to something!"

"Couldn't we try to communicate with the pilot?"

"We tried, but there's no life signal inside!"

While resisting the firepower of the forces from Earth, the mustached Gundam slowly became enveloped in its own aura as it proceeds to make its move. Soon, the Gundam begin to make a strange fighting stance like something out of a wuxia film where the surrounding energy field shoots beams in every direction, wiping out the entire swarm of enemies that have been trying to take it down until this point.

The poor bastards have never realize that the mustached Gundam have been toying with them the whole time.

Not long afterward, the strange looking Gundam sprouts massive wings as it begins is flight all over the Earth's surface, wiping away the civilization along the way. It didn't take long for the entire planet to become barren to the point that the land resembles a desert wasteland while the sea became even more polluted than the infamously flammable river in Cleveland.

Once it was over, the mustached Gundam then have a computer screen that contains a message that reads: _**MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!**_

Soon afterward, the mecha teleports into the another dimension where it would continue its onslaught against the human civilization on Earth due to generations of war that have been brought upon them by the mankind themselves.

Each dimension has different technology developed by its respective mankind but the results against the weird looking Gundam (whose design caused the series it would star in to suffer poor ratings) would turn out the same. One dimension after another, nothing can stop its onslaught as no survivors were left behind, because they're all dead, buried beneath the sand in a inhabitable desert wasteland.

This would continue for years as there are infinite numbers of dimensions so the mission of the mustached Gundam would continue and in time hundreds of thousands of the alternate worlds have been wiped out. Every men, women, and children were massacred, even the babies aren't safe from the path of destruction as the mustache Gundam would wipe them out with ease.

This would go one until one day, in one dimension the mustached Gundam happens to be attacking...a miracle would occur!

Just as the mustached Gundam was doing its business of wiping out humanity with its wings while flying over the surface, a small black hole appears and something begins to materialize.

A frozen chunk of human torso came down and lands on the Gundam, knocking it down. After the mustached Gundam came crashing into Earth, the frozen chunk of human torso would crumble into dust and covers the mecha, hardening to the point that it turns into a statue where it would remain dormant for millenia until being awakened as a more heroic being.

The incredible journey of Astonaige Medoz would finally come to an end.


End file.
